The Okons Of Lagos

Ime Bishop Umoh
Ime Bishop Umoh

It begins like a drama. It gathers momentum and swings to a farce. And the unpaid drama graduates to politica-comedy, taking a toll on the reputation of the dramatis personae.

Protagonist: Ime Bishop Umoh popularly known as Okon Lagos

Antagonists: Facebook Critics

Scene 1: Hilarious, Sham Support

Interviewer: Why did you leave your former boss, Governor Udom Emmanuel?

Ime Bishop: Ami mma Nsima, Afo Ama Nsima Ekere. Afriowo ema Nsima nah. I left my former boss because I know for sure, he doesn’t have the political will to win election based on his low performances. Akwa Ibom deserves the best and Nsima is the best.

Interviewer: You were in his campaign train days back, even today, did you know you were defecting?

Ime Bishop: iya mmi!!! Yes ooo, I know of my defection but…. Sai! Sai!! I couldn’t wait na because I know Nsima is more better and will perform more than the current Governor.


I wonder why people are surprised about this when I know for sure that so many people under Governor Udom payroll will vote Nsima Ekere. This is because, they are afraid of being labelled betrayer. But upon all this, AKPABIO REMAIN IN HIS HONOUR.

Scene 11: The Bubble Bursts

Ime Bishop: This is the height of desperation. These guys are so desperate. Is this how desperate you can get? So you want to use Okon to win election? I thought you claimed that you have already won the elections? I am saying it again for the umpteenth time, I am with Udom.

Ime Bishop: There is no amount of black magic that will change my stand with Governor Udom. I was with Udom; I am with Udom and I will always be with Udom. You can take that to the bank. Woe to the broom carriers! Woe to witches!

Timeline: After the episodic farce, critics on Facebook reacted to the Ime Bishop’s videos with their incendiary remarks.

Osuini Francis, a sham best friend of Okon opens the floor with the sermon THE ACT OF NICODEMUS.

His epistle “My dear brother Ime Bishop UMOH aka Okon Lagos, being a comic actor is not a guarantee for stupidity. You have shot yourself by yourself out of greed and love for vanity.

“Your fans can’t trust you no more, your colleagues can’t trust you no more, Governor UDOM EMMANUEL can’t trust you no more, even Obong Nsima Ekere will see you as a joker and a jester, and in APC we are not looking for jesters.

“I watched your both videos and I wonder who you are trying to fool? You cannot be an APC member at noon, and PDP in the night Just because of bread and butter.

“I am a movie producer and a director which you know too well, you can’t tell me that this video was doctored, be steadfast in all you do cos life and trust is far far better than rice and stew.

“You are not a politician, leave politics to those that understand the rudiments of it, stop running from pillar to Post, stop fooling yourself and pretending as if you’re not aware of what you have done, be diligent in your politicking so that the people can trust you.

“Least I forget, APC is not looking for an abandoned project, stay where you are and sink with your dying party.”

Patience John, on her own “My Take on the Okon Lagos’ imbroglio notes “Okon Lagos is guilty of Breach of Contract. He suspended his career immediately he took up appointment with the state government.

“He should have considered his career and perhaps say no to the appointment .By the singular act of working for the other faction, he has embarrassed himself and his boss; besides showing himself as a workman that needs to be ashamed of himself-“ she concludes.

Mkposong Asuquo, writing on his timeline tagged it: THE OKON LAGOS SHOW-OF-SHAME-FOR- PEANUTS!!!

Asuquo begins “The Progenitor of the popular slogan “Iyami” is the Special Assistant to Governor Udom Emmanuel.  He endorsed Gov. Udom Emmanuel some months ago as Governor and at the same time campaigned for Obong Nsima Ekere as Governor. I wouldn’t want his career to go into shambles neither will I wish for more videos to be uploaded as I’m told there are enough videos of his in the archives😂😂😂.

He paints a picture of Okons “But then, let us quickly see this as a microcosm of a typical Akwa Ibom person who is on the idle-ladder of being identified as a “Political Stalwart”. This is a clear picture of how desperate and wicked, the hearts of most of these idle young guys are. “They collect from one end to meet their needs, and turn to throw tantrum at their benefactor immediately they cross their gate. They sing in high melodies at noon in the sitting room of a candidate and at night, they table-talk the secrets of the fellow to his opponent. They dance in the camp of an APC candidate in the noon and smuggle into the farm of a PDP Candidate at late nights.

“I saw many of them who were revived from the processes of being rusticated in school back to the classroom and to the peak of their career, graduate out of school call their benefactor: Dr. Godswill Akpabio a rat whom they even made billionaires and I ask how one pauper will make a Governor of a strategic state like Akwa Ibom a billionaire, leaving himself empty?

He zeroes thus “I’ve seen some who subscribed to the nomenclature of naming their children after their benefactors like Godswill, Unoma and even Akpabio turn round to discredit their once upon a time God-sent Angel, giving him names that most at times make me to wonder if indeed their brains are intact. I’ve seen a man who configured the popular super angelic song “You raised me up” to reflect “Akpabio raised me up” on his wedding day, the holy matrimony, now abuse the man he respected to the point of turning a Christian worship song of the faithful to eulogise him.

“I’ve seen so many that makes me wonder if this is the politics of Growth, Replication, Expansion, Mutual Respect and love that is practiced in the West by Jagaban and in the North by IBB as well as numerous others in the east and some parts of the South?  If a man who do not have a personality in the mole of Godswill Akpabio can push his bellies to vomit trash on Akpabio, then Okon Lagos is in the best of his Child’s play, after all, many who have done worst of betrayals in the few months and weeks will return to plead and beg this same Akpabio to forgive them and accept them into their camp. As a master of many and with a compassionate heart, I’m sure he will always tilt to the side of lending a hand; But like Paul said, do we continue the tricks of the day just to make some peanuts?

Going to the Okon’s vilified video, he remarks “This is one video that is far-reaching into the hearts and conscience of many, One video that is in totality expressing the heart of an idle youth who sits to carry curses upon their heads by abusing a man who is in his honour at the instance of playing politics. This is a microcosm of a typical local stalwart and a clear step to exonerating the leaders who have hitherto been abused in precedent times:  The Search for peanuts has caused this. Well done, Okon Lagos the Doctor of double standards!”

Anietie Ekong, Special Assistant on Media to Senator Godswill Akpabio, wrote “After much pestering, I have personally facilitated the meeting of some aides of Governor Udom Emmanuel with my boss, Senator Godswill Akpabio. Under cover of darkness I have driven them to secret locations for such meetings because they didn’t want to be seen by other aides of the Senator. I have been part of many of such meetings which they claim that they are sure Governor Udom Emmanuel will lose the election, that he’s not a politician, and that he’s neglected their welfare since they’re not from Onna, bla, bla, bla. They say terrible things about the man.

“That’s why I respect Icekyd Icekid. Right from the first day that Senator Akpabio moved to APC, this guy contacted me, told me plainly that even though he’s from Onna, he cannot remain in PDP after his mentor had left considering what he did for him. He gave me his word on that, and I knew it was just a matter of time before he would publicly make known where his allegiance was.

“However, there are some greedy, double faced aides of the Governor who will sneak in at night, tell you that from all indices Mr. Udom Emmanuel will fail the election and they want to be accommodated in the in-coming APC administration, only for you to see them the following day at a rally of the same man they claim will lose the election. They are double agents who want to get some goodies from the government while it lasts with a hope to also be part of the in-coming APC administration.

In a manner of letting the cat out of the bag, he dismisses Okon’s stance “Don’t mind those double agents. They sneak into APC’s leaders houses at night to pledge loyalty and claim they’re hanging on to collect another month’s salary or debt owed by the government, but their support is for APC. Terrible people. I may be forced to mention some of them by name.”

Epilogue: The Okons of Lagos are not people who live or had lived in Lagos.  Or those who come back to Akwa Ibom State to contest election or do business. They are not what some people pejoratively tagged: Lagos returnees. They are not those who went to Lagos to hustle for a living. No! After all, hustlers are everywhere.

They are those whose address is traced to what signifies evil machinations- people of double standards. They people with dark hearts- evil wishers. They are those who swear oath in the shrine in the night but stand on the pulpit in the daytime to give prayer points in their churches.

They wear white cassocks in the day time but robbed themselves with black ephod in the night. They are the self-professed men of God who eat from the pulpit of God and salivate on the temple of Satan. They are the ingrates- those who do not see anything good in others, they do not respect their elders, they are initiates of different occultic groups; they are those who “belong” while the rest are chaffs. They are graduates of P.H.D (Pull Him Down) syndrome.

They are those who sleep with their daughters, siblings and other neigbours’ wives or husbands but masturbate with their wives or husbands.

They are many. They have human faces but their hearts belong to the devil. They were the penniless but when they arrive turn against their benefactors to at their feet. They are difficult people. They poison or kill anyone they feel could stand on their. They proposal hijackers.

They are gossips. They are betrayers. They are preachers of good things but doers of evil machinations.

Where do you and will not find them: political class, ecclesiastical arena and business. Mention them. They are the desperados.

Why blame Okon Lagos? He has come out to tell who he is. What about the sheep in wolves’ clothing? Who are the kidnappers? Who are the ritual killers? Who are those sacrificing human beings to make much money? Who are the political comedians? Who are those trading barbs and throwing tantrums to earn a living? Who are those feeding fat from spreading the message of tribal bigotry? What about those laying aside Bible to preach political gospel to win souls for their pay masters? The list…